Planet Earth According to Videogames

Hey videogame developers, there are other cities in the world besides New York.

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Impressions: Sniper Elite V2

If you’re in the business of dismissing games on first impressions alone, Sniper Elite V2 stands about as much chance as Joseph Kony Babysitting Simulator. But V2 has a lifeline, and it’s not its wanton show of violence.

The Abridged Script: Ninja Gaiden 3 Part 3

EXT. FRENCH POLYNESIA – WHEREVER THAT IS.  JET FIGHTERS are SOARING dangerously close to the OCEAN. RYU HAYABUSA is in a JET wearing no HELEMT.  PILOT  Look buddy, we don’t wear these things to look cool, they help us breath.  RYU HAYABUSA Us Ninja aren’t shackled by your primitive respiratory systems. Please open the cockpit.  …

The Abridged Script: Ninja Gaiden 3 Part 2

EXT. FIELDS – ABYSMO VIRTUAL REALITY    RYU AWAKENS to find himself in a FIELD with an ATTRACTIVE LADY.   LOVELACE Hello Ryu Hayabusa. My name is Lovelace. I’m chief scientist here at Abysmo. You may be wondering why I’m only wearing a bra and a mini-skirt. So am I.   RYU HAYABUSA What’s a …

The Abridged Script: Ninja Gaiden 3 Part 1

They say if you put a monkey in a room with a typewriter for an infinite amount  of time the hairy tyke will eventually pen the entire works of Shakespeare. I propose that if you put a monkey in a room with a typewriter for three hours, the cosmos’ natural comedian will write Ninja Gaiden 3 …