Xbox Live has ruined everything. Gone are the days – or limited are they – of proper gentlemanly altercation in videogames. Days when a man could take measure of his opponent by bitterly twiddling his moustache during a heated glaring contest all prior to a game of Flame Tag on Chinese. With broadband and Xbox Live all the rage these days, developers are facilitating the behaviour of the uncouth; bawling words down a microphone or placing one’s on-screen genitals between the parched lips of a bloodied corpse. Yet each of those is a poorer substitute still for being present in the company of your adversary as you crush him without quarter.